I feel stuck. Stuck is really hard for me. One of my highest values is freedom. I feel stuck because I am holding on to strategies, which need to change. I am holding on when what is really needed is to let go so something new can emerge. As I tighten my grip, the intensity (and drama) escalates as I try to ward off the winds of change, which are in fact here to ultimately release the stuck place. Crazy right?
A friend of mine reminded me of this fantastic sailing tip that is of great support in getting through intense situations. It is simply this: When a big gust hits and you are getting blown over, the last thing you want to do is pull the sails in tighter. You need to remember to let everything go… and, here’s the cool part, simply allow the boat to right itself and choose a new direction. If you have ever done this little maneuver in a strong wind you know it is a loud, sheet snapping affair that can seem pretty chaotic and it DOES WORK!!!!
So much of our lives are subject to unpredictable change. (Obvious newsflash, I know.) It is no longer the kind of world where you can be successful just by focusing on strategy, hard work and having great people around you. All this helps, for certain AND you can still get in big trouble if you hold on too tightly. When the huge billowing gusts of change blow through providing what is intended to be welcome relief and fresh inspiration, you gotta be able to let go and allow your boat to right itself.
Once your boat is upright, choose a new course. There you have it…you are now un-stuck!
First of all, I acknowledge that I dropped the “regular blog posting” ball for the whole month of August. Yipes! I was completely immersed in my work with my private coaching clients, my mid-year private mini retreats and yes, the lovely days of summer. When the sun did peak out, I was oh so ready to spend time on the beach, which I did, without apology… until this moment of truth.
One of the themes of the last month has been personifying and empowering the voice of the True leader within and surrounding that voice with a wise integrated support team of clearly identified inner allies. In this way, we can more easily recognize their wise voices and our True Leader can confidently move forward with resonant choices. All this is for the sake of minimizing frustrating time spent stuck in fear and indecision. This transformative work has led me back to my favorite poet, David Whyte, who styles for us a valuable inner ally.
Click here for a 3 minute audio I recorded of his poem, which I have recited to many beautiful people in many beautiful places over the past month. Sit back and enjoy…and then ask yourself:
What bridge have you come upon, that has you paralyzed by fear and indecision?
How might you follow your Old Interior Angel across it in one movement?
A few gems of wisdom from my SOLD OUT 30 Amazing Women-Seattle Event this past Monday.
Guiding principles for Turning Points:
1. Each life has a destiny & purpose that is unfolding and there are often deeper clues to that purpose at turning points.
2. We can sense the turning point coming and at these moments we are called to let go vs. hang on.
3. It’s not easy to let go. There are pitfalls and there is fire. There are places where fear or unexpected events can cause us to waiver or wobble. This is part of the process and easy to misinterpret. If we choose to hold on when we are called to let go, we just keep “circling Dallas”. Forward progress is indeed slow.
4. There is a flow that is wanting to happen if we listen. The flow helps us wisely discern what to hold on to and what to let go of and WHEN.
It is Fall, the changing of the leaves; time to set down our hoe, celebrate the harvest and let go of what is no longer needed as we turn towards winter.
Last week I came across a children’s book called “First Snow in the Woods.” It’s about a fawn in fall, approaching her first winter. She can sense that a change is coming and she’s not sure she’s prepared. All the other animals give her advice. The squirrel says, “Gather your Acorns!!! “ The groundhog says, “HIBERNATE!!!” It goes on and on, the advice not at all appealing or appropriate to our fawn. Meanwhile she is looking worried . She is losing all of her spots and growing a heavy coat that is, well, quite hot.
In the end, with the help of a few key words of wisdom from a wise teacher, our heroine fawn realizes she has all she needs to enter her next season AND she notices that she has naturally prepared for this change in her own instinctual way. The way of the fawn, which is different from every other species.
This fall, may you feel a deeper trust and knowing of your way, your path and your destination. We are all being called to step forward with clear conviction into our purpose and legacy. This stepping forward involves turning points. While you may or may not be aware of what needs to change. We are all in the process of turning toward what’s next.
There is a thread you follow. It goes among things that change, but it doesn’t change. Willliam Stafford
I met Kathy Sparkman the day she was done doing things the way she had always done them. That day she became a private coaching client and stepped boldly and courageously forward. Kathy now creates jewelry that inspires fresh energy and confident presence. I’m stepping into a bolder vision and Kathy designed a new bracelet to remind me of who I need to be to get where I’m going. It looks nothing like what I’ve worn in the past. I do believe that is the essence of boldness! My question for you is How will you boldly step forward and claim your vision? For a limited time, I’m offering Summer private mini retreats . Is today your day to remove your golden hand cuffs (that chain you to the way things are) and put on a new bold and beautiful bracelet?
I’m celebrating my first day in my new Seattle office! Walking from the ferry this morning along the waterfront, I noticed the beautiful sunrise light, the light of a new beginning, dancing on the water. Last night at sunset, Kevin and I finally arrived at a long overdue BIG decision to say NO. Today at sunrise, I welcome a new chapter in my business with a long overdue YES!!! The No had to happen to make room for the Yes. We must let go of where we are stuck before we can grasp on to what is next. This is the only way we “go farther”. I notice the limiting “default” setting of my mind is to yo-yo back and forth trying to avoid both the no and the yes, trying in vain to keep things exactly as they are..no matter how much suffering is present. Actually, I believe the tendency toward indecision, to cling to our comfort zone is stronger when we are suffering. Now that I’m enjoying my Yes…I realize once again the power of paving the way for a Yes with a No. Sunrise can’t happen without Sunset. Where do you choose to say No to embrace your most cherished Yes? I challenge you to do it right now!
I’m retreating at the beach on Whidbey Island with Peg Marckworth, the wonder-personal branding consultant www.marckworth.com and Tucker the wonder-dog. We’re watching the water sparkle in the sun and the first bright green leaves on the rose bushes emerge. It’s been 3 months since my retreat in India. Since I have returned change has been constant. India called forth growth in my life and business, just like the sun is calling forth the wildly alive spring green that is emerging here everywhere.
It’s been magical to witness my outer reality, trying to catch up to the wise inner Knowing that my time in India unvieled. Sometimes it’s been elegant and profound…sometimes it’s been clumsy and physically intense. Big surprise! I expected joyful bliss. It’s been all that AND it’s been heart wrenching, chaotic and messy. Gentle compassion flows through me with silent, peaceful ripples. Often followed by the diesel engine style love that rumbles through with powerful might, expelling every trace of limitation or illusion of control. My heart is 10 times bigger. I’ve noticed that the sorrow of my lifetime has mysteriously gone missing, healed without a trace. No band-aids, no scars remain.
My “Pilgrimage to the Heart” via India was the beginning of Retreat to Advance 2008. It has not been a linear process where I retreated, meditated, had inspiration….then came back, reflected, quietly made a plan and began moving forward. It was more like a tornado of pure Love energy blasted through after which I picked myself up and asked. “What the heck?” Nothing looks or feels the way it once did. Everything is changing from the inside out. I’m wildly, passionately happy and quite proud that I’ve made it this far. I still miss everything about India. My imagination sees, feels, tastes and smells it in sensual detail every day. I’m told that this “missing” is the energy of divine Love. Crazy.
Bottom line. Retreat, surrender to Love, gather your circle of support, be kind to yourself, fasten your seat-belt and get ready to Advance.