Yesterday on my walk, I felt sad that I have missed one of my favorite spring scenes; beautiful blossoms drenched in sunlight against a blue sky. This year the scene is more like blossoms in the cold rain against a dark grey sky while tromping through oozing slippery mud. This is “what is” and I can’t accept “what is” until I fully experience the sadness of the “what is” not being what “I had intended it would be.”
As humans we must experience the sadness of the loss of the dream first in order to embrace and create from the destiny that is actually unfolding.
Put another way, I simply can’t get to the experience of somehow accepting the reality of the muddy blossoms without first being with the disappointment of the dream of the sunny blossoms slipping away.
“Being with” pain and anger is the place where we so often miss the mark. We try and rise up out of the mud and push down the emotion of being in the mud, when what is truly most beneficial to our growth is the ability to be IN the mud. In fact the only way through the mud is to fully experience it. We naturally want to sidestep this piece, moving directly toward trying to reframe the situation in a positive light.
As a leader of transformational change, watch for those places of emotional charge and practice the art of pausing to be with your feelings. Lead yourself and your team into the authentic emotional texture of each loss before moving on to revising goals or expectations. You’ll free up valuable energy that was previously used to avoid or rise above the whole mess. Here’s the bonus; you get to evolve as a leader and a human being. (Get it…Human BEING).