Tag: fear

Advancing with No-Nonsense Compassion

Crossing a rocky stream in one movement

First of all, I acknowledge that I dropped the “regular blog posting” ball for the whole month of August.  Yipes!   I was completely immersed in my work with my private coaching clients, my mid-year private mini retreats and yes, the lovely days of summer.  When the sun did peak out, I was oh so ready to spend time on the beach, which I did, without apology… until this moment of truth.

One of the themes of the last month has been personifying and empowering the voice of the True leader within and surrounding that voice with a wise integrated support team of clearly identified inner allies. In this way, we can more easily recognize their wise voices and our True Leader can confidently move forward with resonant choices.  All this is for the sake of minimizing frustrating time spent stuck in fear and indecision. This transformative work has led me back to my favorite poet, David Whyte, who styles for us a valuable inner ally.

Click here for a 3 minute audio I recorded of his poem, which I have recited to many beautiful people in many beautiful places over the past month.  Sit back and enjoy…and then ask yourself:

  • What bridge have you come upon, that has you paralyzed by fear and indecision?
  • How might you follow your Old Interior Angel across it in one movement?
  • What is her old secret?
www.jrscoaching.com

Advancing across Edges

Rose opened fully in the sun.


How did the rose ever open its heart
And give the world all its beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light
Against its being,

Otherwise, we all remain
Too frightened.

— Hafiz

Between the two inner realities of “Who we are.” And “Who we are not, yet” there is an edge.  This edge is the dividing territory between the bud and the rose.   Once we have crossed over our edge, the rose becomes the reality of “Who we are”.  We stand in our new full-bloom splendor full of confidence, stunned by our beauty and wonder, What was all the hub bub?

To evolve into the leaders we are capable of becoming, we must become adept at journeying across our edges.  To use Hafiz’s imagery, we’ve got to find a way to journey from bud to rose.  Our edge is the place where we stop, gripped by fear. We are tempted to stay in the reliable, comfortable, status quo of the tight bud that never opens to it’s full potential.

To bloom we must recognize when we are at an edge.  It is immensely valuable to understand the specific nature of the edges we you are up against.  In this way, the emotional intensity of the edge doesn’t scare us into believing that…”Oh no, this is not meant for me.”  In fact, at our edges, it is pretty much guaranteed that there will be inner saboteur voices that demand, in no uncertain terms, that we stay a bud.   Please remember with equally firm conviction that these voices are not your Truth. With consciousness of the edge, we can discern the saboteur voices and support ourselves in crossing the edge insuring success.

Techniques for crossing over:

  • Champion yourself with encouragement and gentleness.
  • Call yourself forth with fierce remembrance of your burning power.
  • Find the part of yourself that has the resources to cross and have that part get it done.
  • Forbid yourself from crossing. (I mean it, tell yourself you are not to bloom, you don’t get to change…you will be surprised how much energy you can muster.)

May we shine forth sun upon each other as we gracefully cross over our edges from bud to rose.

Advancing into a Bold YES!

 

I just now committed to a bold Yes.  One of those Yes’s that all your friends say in their best London English, Why of Course!  You must do this!  For me it’s been 3 days of feeling the intensity of the fear of making the WRONG decision.  I’ve spent hours contemplating all the possible choices and calculating all the possible impacts.  I’ve reviewed my values, my purpose and the vision of my business. I’ve looked carefully at the risks and possible rewards of this innovative YES.   Vividly, underneath all this valuable analysis, I’ve been experiencing intense fear.  Primal fear of the change that this bold Yes will bring to the status quo of my life and business.    I deeply resist the chaos that this change will usher in before I get to truly inhabit the next more resonant land that I have been envisioning all along.  

Isn’t this how it goes?  The call comes and we know we have to answer YES…and yet there is always “Trouble at the Border”.   I’ve noticed this theme of “hesitation before the leap” in many of my client conversations this week.  Does it come from the business culture that wanted us to be innovative YET taught us be cautious as mistakes can indeed jeopardize our careers?  Does our success get in the way of our growth as there is so much more at risk with each yes?  Do we unconciously know that there is so much more to lose if we are wrong????  Yet all of us, deep down yearn to say yes and silently regret those times when we back away.

Whatever we posess, we fear we might lose it if we step forward.  Whenever we are thinking about me or mine, we are in the realm of the wounded ego.  The ego which is desperately trying to control things, to keep us safe and protected and WAY smaller than what we are capable of being.  In order to step forward into leading our lives and those we serve, we must get comfortable with the terrifying AND exhilarating process of moving through the fear and uncertainty that the ego throws up, toward what is truly calling.

When it comes to saying yes to our personal destiny, I love this line from the new movie, The Moses Code.  “God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called.”  However you hold the presence of the divine, remember that this presence within us, is always calling us to expand into our greatest potential.  It is calling us to change, create and innovate BOLDLY.  When we say yes, it’s vital to remember that we are not yet the person or organization that will fulfill the call.  We grow into it.  Ahh, this is where the surrender and leap of faith must take place.  This is why coaching support is essential.  Left to our own devices it’s way too easy to stay small and protected.  Then of course, the outcome, although we are protected, is often; poor, lonely and sad.  The outcome of the YES…Exhilaration, change, abundance and growth. 

Therefore, we retreat into the silence.  We retreat into supportive coaching conversations.  We discern the strong voice of the call to which, despite our full body fears…we must in the end answer boldly…YES!