Retreat to Surrender & Practicing Losing

I’m practicing the art of surrender.  Right before the United States Independence Day holiday, I realized that I had once again slipped into things being hard, endless trying, stress, overwhelm and a generally lousy place of disappointment.  I’ve been grieving losses and unmet expectations.  Face down in the mud of my life,  I pleaded, if I surrender may I please have things be easier?   A voice replied.  “What do you give up when you say you surrender?”  Well it’s a long list the surrender list.  

I surrender my suffering, pain, fear, my trying to achieve a particular outcome and my expectations.   I was reading that true surrender is not done from a place of HAVING to surrender.  Surrender is something we choose because we WANT to surrender.  I’ve been leading personal retreats this month and reading When Fear Falls Away-the story of a sudden awakening by Jan Fraizer  It strikes me that how she became fearless is she did indeed surrender to the natural flow of the river of her inner Divine Power.   And here’s the thing…rather abruptly joy and bliss took hold of her and never again let go.

Here is a poem that articulates this process so beautifully.  The author is a radiant, beautiful, courageous inspiring female executive, who is, as I am…and all my clients are, up to great things in our world.  Her vision is huge, her leadership is potent and yes, she has gotten good at losing.  I’ll let her say it herself:

Practicing Losing-For Advanced Beginners

I practice losing now. Losing my expectations held on so tightly  Losing my expectations of myself, my future, my perfectly stacked ice cream cone.  All floating up like pieces of burnt paper from a fire, or the way snowflakes disappear when they hit a warm surface.

I practice losing now, losing an identity I thought I was supposed to have.  Losing a mask I was supposed to wear.  Losing a practicality that once served in some way and only now seems awkward and uncomfortable. 

I’m practicing losing now and seeing, discovering what’s still there.